- Lying -

"The tongue is the pen of the heart."
-- Bachya Ibn Pekudah (11th century Spanish rabbi)

Should we expect that an accused murderer - or even a petty thief - would have any qualms about lying to save himself? Do we really think lying is worse than murder??

Why do we cling to the ideal of "swearing to tell the truth?" Is this a relic of some bygone time, an illogical ritual? What are the origins of the judicial practice of "swearing in?" Was there a time when the judicial system stood for something more ... something that escapes us today?

Actually, the Torah does not say, "He must not break his word." The literal translation is, "He must not profane his word." This injunction is not merely an echoing of the secular maxim: "A man's word is his bond." The Torah is implying much more. There is something special about that which proceeds from your mouth. Not fulfilling what you say is not just a question of breaking your word, but it profanes the very essence of who you are.

We've all heard the expression, "I think, therefore I am." Judaism has a stronger version: "I speak, therefore I am." More than the realm of "thought," the spoken word changes the type of person you are.

Thoughts are ideas in potential; we bring them into reality through the medium of speech. Articulating your most noble dream moves you a significant step closer to making it a reality.

Judaism says that words are not merely sounds or vibrations in the wind. They are reality. Words take an idea out of potential and make it real. If you lie, then you lose the ability to express your ideas into a stable-secure medium, and so, you lose your connection to reality.

Speech is at the very core of our being. Therefore, it is of utmost significance to habituate your mouth to always tell the truth, for through this one becomes a truthful person.

Words are the medium by which we connect our inside world with the outside one, and alternatively, by which we absorb the outside world into our inside one.

The liar says words without any comprehension of what they mean to him; he can say ridiculous and obvious untruths. The liar has broken a vital link with the world around him.

Lying creates a panoply of problems. People can no longer trust you, and more tragically, you can no longer trust yourself. The liar will find it increasingly difficult to articulate what he means and what he is feeling - both to others and to himself. Everything he says loses its value. Eventually he will drown in the confusion of who he is and what life means.

Shakespeare noted, "Above all else, to thine own self be true." The Jewish concept is different. Being true to oneself is possible ... only if to others you are also true.

Our Sages tell us that it is important to teach your mouth to say "I don't know." Just as saying "please" and "thank you" trains a person to be grateful , similarly, "I don't know" conditions a person to be humble.

Just as there are certain foods we would find abhorrent to eat, so too, we should be repulsed at the possibility of swallowing a lie.

Similarly there are some words we should be repulsed to say. "I want to do evil"; "I don't care about other people"; "I want to be miserable." These phrases are hard to pass by our lips.

If there's a phrase you can't bring yourself to say, then realize how significant that concept is in your life and in the essential makeup of your being. Make an effort to live with the fundamental ideas that make up who you are. At the very least say, "I want, above all else, to be good, to do the right thing; I want to have purpose and meaning in life." By saying it, you have moved yourself closer to achieving it.

Question 1: Think of a time when you lied in order to get ahead. If you could, would you prefer to be a person that never lied, or to remain as you are? Why?

Question 2: Have you ever lied to someone very close to you and harmed that relationship?

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Rabbi Stephen Baars